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X

by 2bit

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1.
LC 01:22
I thank you for being my date that night, but I hate you for bringing that much into my household. In all honesty, it isn’t your fault; you’re a distant memory at this point, and I only remember your purple dress and the two ribbons on the back. Tying my world together, unseen, but holding it all in place.
2.
AH 02:59
You. You changed a lot, about how I viewed the world, writing, and the thought of Love. A capitol letter Love, an uppercase Love because I only lower case loved you, but I told you I uppercase loved you. You weren’t the colors I said you were, but you were the colors that painted my life for a while. You never forgave me for never doing anything worth not worth forgiving me for. I hear you’re doing better. I’m happy for you, but I’m happier that we never lasted past the instant message.
3.
KN 01:26
You were a fast river running through my body. Its current taking me to places I’d never dream of going alone. You brought me new highs but they were only superficial floats to traverse the water in, not methods of swimming upstream. You were short, and when I realized I was only with you because I could be, I broke your heart and let the pieces crawl down the river. I’m sorry.
4.
EJ 02:33
You were what I wanted, and I hoped my summer fancy would catch your free spirit. After spending a summer in his wake, trying to catch up to your bow, I finally did. What I found was slightly disparaging; a boat with enough holes to actually be of concern for its sea-worthiness. Granted, I didn’t spot them till I was happily halfway out of the bay. If you were all that you’re cracked up to be I would have had the best trip of my life. Unfortunately, I didn’t know my strength and broke the rudder off by sheer willpower and took a halfhearted trip on a half assed boat. If life was real I’d be out on the water, calling to the whales, skinny dipping and laughing at things that are funny because they aren’t. I held your oars in my hands, but I didn’t think to push them. You were older than me, and the dings in the side showed that. You smoked when I started you up and remained a chimney for the remainder of the trip. You took on fluids like you had a hole the size of my head, and I couldn’t bail out fast enough. I took the time to be thoughtful, and made sure that everything I gave to you was more than it had to be, but thoughts are lost on the thoughtless. I harnessed every ounce of strength to try and bring us to shore, but you capsized far before I even saw the jetty, forcing me to swim to the sand and lay gasping for air on my side, like a fish removed from the water, gasping for air, but only receiving the wrong kind.
5.
TI 02:08
You were the part of the world that forgets that it is part of the world. When you left I was neither saddened nor weakened, only remorseful for your state. So long to your sad world. Your sphere of disappointment and depression. Your globe of self-harm and hatred. So long. I haven’t seen you in years and I can only hope you’re doing better than the shriveled mess of a girl I dropped off at your apartment’s front steps that night.
6.
EJ 02:00
All I wanted was you. You were the embodiment of all I wanted. the pinnacle of what I perceived as love. Fate drew us together again and I left the alter of halfhearted promises feeling unrequited. You were all I wanted. As I spent the time wrapped in your words I realized that you were an unhealthy abomination of my imagination. An image of what Iove should be entangled with, but underneath the manipulation of colors a simple photo of skewed ideals mixed with an innocent mind that wrapped its head around the world around it like a snake wraps its body around its victim. We tried and failed. We loved and lost. We spent the time to make it work and realized that it was not what either of us thought it would be. All I wanted was you. But then I realized that I didn’t want you.
7.
SM 04:47
In this strange tangled mess I left us in, I found love. Or rather, I think I did. I thought I loved you. I define Love as giving anything for the betterment of another human being. Now I look back and I’m not entirely sure. You gave me more than I thought possible and less than I wanted, but the way I treated you was childish with moments of maturity peeking through, like a child peers through his mother’s dress at the strangers invading their normal family dinner. I thought without my head and let me brain lead the way, though it was wrong. I pray that you forgive me for that. You were almost the training grounds for life after here, but I will never let that happen. I respect you too much to let your legacy live on in my head as that. You know me as a mild mannered child with few impulses and an affinity for baking cookies and regardless of what I’ve turned into I hope I remain in your head as that, though not for me, but rather, for you. It took me a month to write this out. My brain is far too muddled normally, and I can’t find the clarity of mind to decipher my thoughts about you. It took an outside influence to affect my brain in order to write down the muddled mess of my mangled mind. I am not sure whether or not to let you live without me in order to protect you, or let you live with me for the short time I am here. Part of me claims that you will benefit from knowing that I have a lax moral code at times, and part of me claims that you would live better without that knowledge. This song is me airing my thoughts in public and hoping that you either catch on or don’t. That would solve my problem. Unfortunately I fear that this choice is not up to me, and up to Chance instead. I hope that this spin on the roulette wheel lands on the right slot. Maybe I do love you. Maybe I do. Maybe. I love you. I hope you live as you should. I miss you.
8.
TH 02:41
It kills me that I can never know the taste of your lips. You left me on the wrong side of the road. Mistakes were made that night and even though I’ve never been more comfortable on such an evening as that, I left you without the metaphorical shoulder to cry on. When you left I left my skin on yours and we hoped I could leave more than that with you. But that ship has sailed and you were captain. I was just late.

about

Look at the past. Change the future.

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released October 1, 2012

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about

2bit Seattle, Washington

2bit hasn't had time to reinvent himself for college. He's been trying to talk with a British accent and a slight element of swagger to impress the ladies, but, let's face it; it hasn't been working.
So he goes back to his dismal room and makes new and unique music forms to release his frustration with all things frustrating.
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